Thursday, August 28 gave rise to...

Glorious Nippon

"As he turns 50, is this what Michael Jackson should really look like?"

Read Full Post »

Sunday, August 24 gave rise to...

한국어 실제 이야기 (Korean Real Talk)

"N Korea's Kim died in 2003; replaced by lookalike, says Waseda professor"


So perhaps Kim Jong-il, the most diabolical, beloved, and cutest dictator today, has been dead for five years and counting. Who doesn't hope this is true? This would be amazing. The only thing more amazing would be to find out that Busta Rhymes has been dead and was replaced by a lookalike that started making Mountain Dew commercials. And when you think about what that implies, he sort of has. I mean sure, he shows impressive vitality now and then. But Kim Jong-il surely stirs in his grave, too.

This is a great strategy to prolong the reign of any dictatorship. Future dictators, take note!

Also: if Kim Jong-il is dead, who the hell is controlling North Korea?

Also In North Korea: They Might Be Eating Rabbits The Size of 9-Year Olds. See Pic Below.

(Getty photo by Sean Gallup / January 15, 2006)

Karl Szmolinsky, who raises a breed of rabbits called giant grays, shows Robert, an 8.5kg giant gray who is 74cm long and has ears 25.5cm long, in the backyard of his house in Eberswalde, Germany in 2006. Szmolinsky sold eight giant grays to a delegation from North Korea that wanted to raise the breed as a source of meat for the North Korean population. Szmolinsky said his rabbits reach a maximum weight of 10.5 kg (23.1lbs.).

Sure, one can speculate wildly about whether or not N. Korea is being run by a phantom dictator...but this story is not speculation. This is fact. This man was approached by North Korea about the possibility of using his giant rabbits as a food source for the North Korean people. I'm not sure how this ties in with North Korea's nuclear tests, but somehow it seems to fit perfectly.

They're eating giant rabbits in one of the saddest nations on earth. This surely qualifies as Real Talk.

Read Full Post »

Saturday, August 23 gave rise to...

Real Talk?

Jerry Seinfeld to produce advertisements for Windows Vista:

Thursday, we learned that Jerry Seinfeld, one of the funniest men on the planet, will be the new spokesman in an ad campaign for Microsoft's Vista operating system.

Real Talk. At this point though, Microsoft doesn't need a spokesman to restore the public's faith in their operating system -- they need a savior. Jesus Christ would be nice. They should get Jesus Christ.

Does anyone remember when they paired Seinfeld with Superman to plug American Express cards? Jesus Christ! Let's not see a repeat of that for the Windows advertisements. Unless maybe they pair him with Jesus Christ.

Tropical Storm Fay is a total bitch:

Tropical Storm Fay extended her stay in Florida on Saturday making landfall for a record fourth time as she trudged across the state's northern panhandle and took aim at points west including New Orleans.

Real Talk! What could be realer than a tropical storm that just keeps coming back to fuck with the same region over and over again?

Usain Bolt is really fast. Some people seem to think he's too fast.

They've tested him for dope 4 times since he's been in China.

Mediocre movies compete for top spot as the highly profitable summer movie season comes to a close:

Under-25 females will be the main audience for "The House Bunny," which was produced for $25 million and comes from the screenwriting team behind the 2001 success "Legally Blonde." Faris, from "The Hot Chick" and the "Scary Movie" series, could be on the brink of becoming a major star.

Wait wait hold on. Before we decide whether or not this is Real, let me make sure I understand that first sentence. The main audience for a movie about a Playboy bunny is under-25 females? Apparently so. Here's the plot:

When Shelly, a Playboy bunny, is tossed out of the mansion, she has nowhere to go until she falls in with the sorority girls from Zeta Alpha Zeta. The members of the sorority - who also have got to be the seven most socially clueless women on the planet - are about to lose their house. They need a dose of what only the eternally bubbly Shelley can provide... but they will each learn on their own to stop pretending to be what others want them to be and start being themselves.

So they're using a Playboy bunny to try to teach young women about individuality, in a movie where the heroine is referred to in the title as a House Bunny. It doesn't seem real...but it is, so I guess this qualifies as Real. If you see this movie, please explain all the parts where the movie redeems itself.

Read Full Post »

Friday, August 22 gave rise to...

Who Is Sending This Awesome Spam?

See this image below? You ought to click it. It's some of the best spam ever. Seriously.

Read Full Post »

The Gong Show (1976): Paul Reubens

Read Full Post »

Monday, August 18 gave rise to...

"He suffered terribly and knew all too well that he had less than two years left to live."

"Therefore he had nothing to lose, and urged me to show the pictures to the world in order to frighten other young people so that they should never come to suffer like himself."

Brutal New York - 1965/95

Found here.

Read Full Post »

Holy Shit

Thanks, 1986.

Read Full Post »

Saturday, August 16 gave rise to...

Whisper (By Morphine) + Blue Velvet.

Mark Sandman (September 24, 1952 – July 3, 1999) was an American singer, songwriter, musical instrument inventor and multi-instrumentalist.

An indie rock icon and longtime fixture on the Boston/Cambridge music scene, Sandman was best known as the lead singer and slide bass player of the band Morphine. Sandman was also known as a prominent member of the Boston blues band Treat Her Right and the founder of Hi-n-Dry, a Cambridge, Massachusetts-based recording studio and independent record label.

Frank Booth @ Wikipedia

Read Full Post »

Friday, August 15 gave rise to...

The Dark Side of Thailand.

Read Full Post »

Wednesday, August 13 gave rise to...

Read Full Post »

Tuesday, August 12 gave rise to...

Use FFmpeg!

<!-- USE FFMPEG -->

FFmpeg is the Swiss Army Knife of command line tools for video and audio. It does many things you already want; for example, FFmpeg makes it easy to convert between almost any video or audio format you can think of. It also does some cool things you may not have considered trying before, like facilitating the usage of YouTube as a gigantic downloadable mp3 library. Also, considering that Flash video is the more or less the de facto official video format of the web (and thereby appears to be the future of video on the web), FLV is a very important format to be able to convert from and to. FFmpeg makes this work incredibly easy.

Let's start this tutorial/guide with the mp3 stuff, then move on to more basic/intended usage, and then go on to something cool.

Extracting mp3 from YouTube videos (2 steps):

Let's say you like a song you heard on YouTube, but cannot find the mp3 anywhere online and there's nothing available at the record store. Back in the 1980s you would have been screwed -- you might have been upset enough to try a new drug called "crack" cocaine. But now with The Internet and FFmpeg, you can avoid becoming addicted to crack by downloading a DRM-free mp3 file that will play anywhere, directly from the YouTube video itself! Here's how:

  • First, download the video from YouTube. You can find the .flv file in the source code, but services like KeepVid have utilized YouTube's API to easily allow you to download the video directly from YouTube's server's in a higher quality .mp4 format.
  • Second, take the video, "video.mp4" and run it through FFmpeg like this:
    ffmpeg -i video.mp4 -ab 192k audio.mp3
    This will give you an mp3 with a fairly standard quality of 192kbps. You can make that value higher or lower if it pleases you, but remember your source: audio from a YouTube video. The saying, "You can't polish a turd," is true.

Extracting a clip from a longer video (1 step):

Let's say you really like a segment of a movie, and want to share it with the world. Here's how you can post it to YouTube using free software, make sure the audio syncs up with the video (often times it doesn't, if a certain option is not included in the command) and upload it faster than the dopes uploading video in mpeg or avi format:
ffmpeg -ss 00:06:09 -t 00:00:15 -i mmm.avi -async 1 -qscale 3.5 -vcodec flv seriously.flv
The first part of the command -ss 00:06:09 -t 00:00:15 means to start at 00:06:09 into the movie, and to play for 15 seconds. -i mmm.avi is where you tell FFmpeg to use mmm.avi as the input file. Yes, that's right -- you define the segment before you define the input file.

-async 1 is optional, but it is very helpful for a situation where the audio in your new cropped clip does not sync up with the video.

-qscale 3.5 is a variable command that changes the quality of your cropped clip. 3.5 is a good value here for YouTube -- it seems about equal to the quality of YouTube videos. A lower value means a higher quality. When you're happy (or frustrated to the point of not being able to work any more) with the results, simply upload to YouTube.

If you want to do something cool, like make a mux (or music video, if you prefer that term) a la Pink Floyd + The Wizard of Oz, try this:
ffmpeg -ss 00:04:25 -t 00:05:15 -i superman.avi -i grandma.mp3 -map 0:0 -map 1:0 -qscale 3.5 -vcodec flv killer.flv
When you want to make a simple video like what we're describing, this is a good way to do it. There are a couple of examples here.

The only option we haven't gone over yet here is -map. This is used in conjunction with the two input files to tell FFmpeg where to put them in the output. Here we have the first input file going to stream position 0 on output file 0 and the second input file is going to position 1. -map options correspond to the position in the command of input files -- so the first -map tells FFmpeg where to map the first input file specified in the command, the second tells where to map the second input file, and so on. It will make more sense if you try it. Use the format above if you get lost.

If you want to do something cooler, like this, where multiple video files are combined (see intro and outro), you will need to use another command line tool called cat. This tool concatenates files (it joins them together). It doesn't work with all video formats -- for instance, it will not work with .flv, but it will work with .avi. It also doesn't play nicely with certain differences between files, such as differences in video dimensions or bitrate. To really use this tool well you may need to consult the man page for ffmpeg or some mailing lists to see how other people solved their problems...but if you just need to join two files, here's how you do it:
cat mick.avi killar.avi > killar-milk.avi
And after this, you should run the resulting file killar-milk.avi through FFmpeg to rebuild the part of the file that tell video players their duration. If you don't, you probably won't be able to see the entire new video.

Since videos with different resolutions are incompatible, here's a hint that should help you combine two videos of different resolutions: you can resize videos with the -s option. the format is wxh (width x height) so if you want your video to be 480x196, your option looks like this:
-s 480x196

Hope all this helps. Leave questions and comments in the comments area. Try combining these commands in new and novel ways to achieve interesting results. Really freak it. At the very least, post something online that has never been posted before; it's easy.

When you use the right tools, the Internet is your oyster.

FFmpeg is available for Linux, Mac, and Windows. Officially it's only available to be compiled from source, but you can use Google to easily find a build for your operating system. If you use Linux, check your favorite repository for your chosen distro -- if it isn't included, abandon your distro for a good one.

ffmpeg is pretty fucking cool.

Read Full Post »

Xenia, Ohio

XENIA, Ohio (AP) — Burger King Corp. said Tuesday it has parted ways with an employee who was recorded taking a soapy bath in the restaurant's utility sink. The nearly four-minute video, which was posted Thursday on, shows the unidentified employee taking the bath to celebrate his birthday.

The worker, who refers to himself as "Mr. Unstable," appears to be naked.

Burger King spokeswoman Denise Wilson said two employees involved in the incident were fired and another quit. She declined to identify the employees or say whether the man who took the bath quit or was fired.

The sink is used to clean large pieces of equipment, said Greene Health Commissioner Mark McDonnell. Bacteria or viruses on the skin could have potentially contaminated equipment, but there have been no reports of any customers becoming ill.

McDonnell said he dispatched an inspector to the restaurant, but at that point the restaurant had sterilized the sink.

Miami-based Burger King, the nation's No. 2 hamburger chain, said in a statement that it also disposed of all kitchen tools and utensils used in the incident and is retraining the staff in health and sanitation procedures.

Xenia is about 15 miles east of Dayton.

Xenia, Ohio is where the film Gummo takes place.

Read Full Post »

Monday, August 11 gave rise to...

One Stephen King Story That Probably Should Have Been Thrown Away

One Stephen King Nightmare
That Is So Unprofitable For The People Who Made It
That It Is On YouTube In Its Entirety!
And No Lawyer Will Be Taking It Down!

One He's Been Saving
For The Toilet!

Read Full Post »

Real Talk.

I want the audience to leave the theater and say, 'He did good.'If The Dark Knight maintains its current pace, the movie should have enough momentum to overtake the original Star Wars ($461 million, including rereleases) by the end of next weekend.

The War In South Ossetia, Georgia.


Famous blacks are getting hurt and dying! Also: Paul Newman.

DMX Freestyles At Court Hearing:

"If and when you ever fall down/ Get back up," he rapped outside the courtroom, when asked for a comment following the hearing, according to a Reuters report. "Drop something/ Stop fretting/ Pick that ... back up/ Stand for something or fall for everything/ Wait for the right pitch or miss with every swing."

Read Full Post »

Sunday, August 10 gave rise to...

Photo Gallery of a [Bad Dude|Real Piece of Work]

this guy is a real piece of workThis is Clark Rockefeller. He is a Bad Dude and a Real Piece of Work.

He was arrested on August 2, for the kidnapping of his 7-year-old daughter. He is also probably Christopher Chichester, a man wanted for the 1985 disappearance of a couple in California. Before this he might have [originally] been a German exchange student name Christian Karl Gerhartsreiter. He was lured out of his barely-furnished apartment where his daughter was then found.

Reports from the news suggest that Rockefeller/Chichester/Gerhartsreiter/Chip Smith (seriously) had never revealed his true identity to his family. He was known as Chip Smith at the marina where his never-used catamaran was docked.

Click the photos for more photos and the full story.

this guy is a bad dude

>>Google News Query for 'Clark Rockefeller'<<

Read Full Post »

Thursday, August 7 gave rise to...

About Morgan Freeman's Injury

Freeman, 71, cheated death on Sunday when a car he was driving left the road and rolled over, leaving the Oscar-winning star of "The Dark Knight" with a broken arm, elbow and minor shoulder damage.

Freeman underwent surgery to mend his injuries at Regional Medical Center in Memphis on Tuesday.

"He was released today at noon local time and is now resting comfortably," Freeman's spokesman Ken Sunshine told AFP.

Freeman won an Academy Award for his role in 2004's Clint Eastwood boxing drama "Million Dollar Baby" and is famous for his authoritative voice that has been used to narrate documentaries and commercials as well as film roles.

Morgan Freeman leaves hospital after surgery

Read Full Post »

Tuesday, August 5 gave rise to...

The Internet: Officially Crueler Than Middle School.

Reference Page

Read Full Post »

Sunday, August 3 gave rise to...

Cool Hand Luke (1967)

Read Full Post »

Saturday, August 2 gave rise to...


A TERRITORY man filmed himself speeding at 150km/h while masturbating at the wheel of his drug-laden car, a court heard.

His Holden SV6 was allegedly laden with 5kg of drugs, including two cannabis plants resting on the back seat, the court was told.

Brendon Alan Erhardt, 39, was granted bail so he could marry his girlfriend of six months before he goes to jail.

Prosecutor Sergeant Melinda Edwards said in court the father-of-three told police he "had masturbated while driving'' just before he was stopped for speeding on the 130km/h stretch of the Stuart Hwy.

"(He) also video recorded himself masturbating while travelling at a speed of 150km/h.''

Sgt Edwards said Mr Erhardt -- who was disqualified from driving -- also told officers his act was "not dangerous'' as the "only person he could hurt was himself''.

Darwin Magistrates Court heard Mr Erhardt was stopped by NT police 25km south of Daly Waters on July 16 for allegedly speeding at 147km/h on his way home from Adelaide.

Police noticed he was "visibly agitated'', and when they told him they were going to search his Holden sedan, he said "go right ahead'', Sgt Edwards said.

It is alleged that officers found 4.96kg of cannabis hidden in a blue esky in the boot, two cannabis plants on the back seat, two drug pipes and a loaded .22 rifle.

Sgt Edwards said Mr Erhardt was arrested and told officers he had "found'' the drugs at a rest stop 100km north of Coober Pedy -- and he intended to smoke all of it at his Noonamah home.

Mr Erhardt also told police he had used the rifle to shoot "kangaroos from the vehicle whilst driving north''.

The court heard the cannabis was worth $136,000 if sold by the gram in Darwin -- or double that in indigenous communities.

Mr Erhardt applied twice for bail last week so he could get married before going to jail.

Magistrate Greg Cavanagh said it was "fanciful'' Mr Erhardt had "just found'' the drugs and that it looked like a "courier'' run.

He granted Mr Erhardt $10,000 bail, and his father also posted a $8000 surety.

Mr Erhardt will face court again on September 1.

From: Northern Territory News

Read Full Post »