Saturday, March 28 gave rise to...

those that search for us become us.

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Saturday, March 21 gave rise to...

Josef Fritzl has been sentenced to life imprisonment in a psychiatric hospital with facilities far more comfortable than the dungeon he locked his daughter Elisabeth in for 24 years.

The 73-year-old was jailed after a jury in St Poelten, Austria, unanimously found him guilty of murder at the end of a four-day trial at which he had already admitted incest, rape, false imprisonment and coercion.
He was also convicted of slavery – making him the first man to be convicted of the offence in Austria.

However, Fritzl, who raped Elisabeth more than 3,000 times, fathering seven children by her, will spend his years behind bars in far greater luxury than he gave her.

While Elisabeth and her children had to endure squalid and cramped conditions underground with little light or ventilation, Fritzl will get his own cell with a shower, colour television and personal computer.

During his imprisonment at the secure hospital unit of Mittersteig prison in Vienna, he will be allowed to keep a pet for company, if he wishes.

Fritzl will share a sitting room, kitchen and tea-making area that all inmates can use between the hours of 9am and 6pm.

He will also have the chance to study a foreign language at the facility's learning centre.

Unlike his daughter and her children who were never allowed to leave their dungeon, Fritzl will be allowed out of his 16ft by 12ft cell to use the prison's garden for exercise.

He will also be able to keep up to date with life on the outside through access to newspapers and magazines.

Fritzl's lawyer, Rudolf Mayer, said: "He doesn't mind where he goes. It's not like it's a hotel but he would like a prison close to home because it may be that relatives will go to see him."

Fritzl's sister-in-law Christine Renner, 56, told the Daily Mirror newspaper: "What right does he have to live like this after all he has destroyed?

"They should have put him in a pit, put a lid on it, locked it and thrown away the key."

Earlier, Fritzl had apologised "from the bottom of my heart" for the horrific torture he meted out to Elisabeth. He claimed he wished he could "make amends" for his appalling crimes.

He initially denied murdering Michael, one of seven children he fathered by Elisabeth, and to the slavery charge, but dramatically changed his pleas on Wednesday after seeing his daughter in court.

"He burst into tears and when he saw Elisabeth actually in court it was all over for him," said Mr Mayer.

Speaking in a faltering voice, Fritzl told the jury: "I regret from the bottom of my heart what I did to my family.

"Unfortunately I can't make amends for it. I can only try to find ways to limit the damage that has been done."

Michael, one of twins, died in April 1996, just 66 hours after he was born. He developed breathing difficulties but Fritzl refused to seek medical help, making him guilty of "homicide by neglect".

[Shellac - Prayer To God]

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Tuesday, March 17 gave rise to...

Cure For Depression Found

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Friday, March 13 gave rise to...

Stewart: I understand you want to make finance entertaining, but it's not a fucking game... and I ... when I watch that... I can't tell you how angry that makes me. Because what it says to me that "You all know." You all know what's going on. From those shenanigans to the stuff that was being pulled at Bear and at AIG and all this derivative market stuff — that is this weird Wall Street side bet.

Cramer: Don't you want guys like me, who have been in it, to show the shenanigans? What else can I do?

Stewart: I want desperately for that, but I feel that that's not what we're getting. What we're getting is... Listen.

You knew what the banks were doing and yet you were touting it for months and months. The entire network was. And so now to pretend that this was some sort of crazy once in a lifetime tsunami that nobody could have seen coming is disingenuous at best and criminal at worst.

Cramer: Dick Fuld who ran Lehman Brothers called me in, he called me in when the stock was $40 because I was saying I thought that the stock was wrong, I thought it was the wrong place to be... Brings me in. Lies to me. Lies to me, Lies to me. I've known him for twenty years.

Stewart: (sarcastic) The CEO of a company lied to you?

Cramer: (smiling) Shocker. Stop trading.

Stewart: But isn't that financial reporting? What do you feel is the role of CNBC?

Cramer: I want kangaroo courts for these guys. I really do. I want indictments. We have not seen any indictments. Where is the indictments for AIG? I've told the justice department, here's the way you...

Stewart: (interrupting) It's very easy to get on this after the fact. The measure of the network.... CNBC could act as... in some ways... look, nobody is asking them to act as a regulatory agency... but who's side are they on here?

It feels like they have to reconcile... is their audience the Wall Street traders who are doing this for constant profit on a day to day, the short term?

These guys at these companies were on a Sherman's March through their companies financed by our 401ks and all the incentives of their companies were for short term profit. They burned the fucking house down with our money and walked away rich as hell and you guys knew that that was going on.

Cramer: I have a wall of shame. Why do I have banana cream pies? Because I throw them at CEOs. Do you know how many times I have pantsed CEOs on my show?

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Saturday, March 7 gave rise to...

It's gonna be so dope when the flying saucer picks him up

Michael Jackson must need money. How do I know this and what is he going to do about it? He is on the verge of agreeing to embark on a new world tour. He doesn't want to do the whole, Vegas residence and show thing. So he is finalizing the cities and dates of a 30 city world tour.
It's been three years since he was cleared of molestation charges and he is ready for a comeback.
Will you go see him in concert if he comes to a city near you?

Proving that this decade really is the 1980s in quotation marks, Michael Jackson, right, announced on Thursday that he would perform a series of concerts in London this summer, in what he called a “final curtain call,” Reuters reported. Mr. Jackson, 50, revealed the details of the concerts at a news conference in London, where he said he would perform 10 shows at the O2 Arena, beginning July 8. “When I say this is it, I mean this is it,” Mr. Jackson said, according to Reuters. “I’ll be performing the songs my fans want to hear.” The shows would be Mr. Jackson’s first major performances since 2001 and 2002, when he appeared at a pair of 30th anniversary celebrations and two benefit concerts. His brief appearance at the World Music Awards in 2006 was booed by some audience members.

Creepy-crazy Michael Jackson announced his first set of shows in over 10 years Thursday in London to a smattering of 25 people — including press.

It was a marked change from the frenzy that followed his “HIStory” tour announcement in 1996, suggesting that Wacko Jacko is the human equivalent of fizzy water gone flat.

In a bizarre move (which is what we’ve come to expect from the eccentric artist), Jacko actually announced both his comeback and his retirement. After the fallen King of Pop touted the live dates, he said they’ll also serve as the final concerts of his career. All will take place at London’s O2 Arena.

“I’ll be performing songs my fans wanna hear,” he told his assembled “crowd.” “This is it ... this is the final curtain call. When I say this, I really mean this.”

But it doesn’t seem like anyone is going to be that disappointed if he keeps his promise. Despite various reports that claim Jackson hopes to add shows totaling 25 in all, Jacko has little hope of topping the “HIStory” tour, which grossed $178 million.

The current “tour” is being promoted by AEG, the world’s second-largest promoter. Company president Tim Leiweke told Billboard magazine that his company had been trying to woo Jackson for two years. He even pooh-poohed any talk of the star being mentally unstable, and said Jackson went through a physical at the company’s behest.

“The man is very sane, the man is very focused, the man is very healthy,” he said. “I think he has been dragged through the mud.”

His finances sure have. Last year, the 50-year-old former star sold his Neverland ranch, along with thousands of personal items, to raise cash. He’s reported to be millions of dollars in debt, which has led to speculation that Jackson agreed to the London dates solely for financial reasons.

MJ’s career and reputation have been in tatters since he went on trial for child molestation in 2005, though he was acquitted of all charges. More recently, rumors have surfaced he was suffering from a lung disease, which his spokespeople have vigorously denied.

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Real Talk: Early February 2009 Flashback

Wooly Mammoth remains found in San Diego

Seagull Mashup

For the Horde!

Lux Interior of The Cramps is dead. (pic)

Bill Gates Unleashes Swarm of Mosquitoes on Crowd

DMX sentenced to 90 days in prison. (see earlier and future real talk editions for intermittent dmx news and information)

Woman sues for McSanitizer in her McDonald's Coffee Cup.

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Tuesday, March 3 gave rise to...

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Sunday, March 1 gave rise to...

What Do River Crabs Have In Common With Activism and Porn on the Web?

Some Chinese bloggers have responded by being extremely creative in their use of images. Some Chinese bloggers began posting images of river crabs on their blogs. The joke is that the term for “river crab” sounds very similar to the word “harmonize”, a term that had become slang for “censored” - “My blog just got harmonized.” The term “harmonized” became so popular that it became blocked. So Chinese bloggers began to refer to their blogs as having been “river crabbed”. The watches are a pun on “the three represents“, a political philosophy put forward by Jiang Zemin. This is also a commonly blocked term, so has been rewritten as “wears three watches”… which explains the oddly dressed river crab.

Oh sorry, the porn is only related tangentially. Get the rest of the story, including how porn plays into this system, here.

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