You Know The Dude Just Faked It. Update: This guy surrendered in July.

NY Times: Fund Manager Who Faked His Suicide Surrenders.

Back in June:

A hedge-fund swindler who was supposed to be driving himself to prison abandoned his car on a bridge with the phrase "Suicide is Painless" scrawled on its hood, but no body has been found in the river below -- and the victims of his fraud say they doubt he killed himself.

The FBI and state police are skeptical, saying they're still looking for Samuel Israel III.

Israel, 48, a co-founder and chief executive of the now-collapsed Bayou hedge funds, was sentenced in April to 20 years in federal prison for conspiracy and fraud, to begin Monday afternoon. He was also ordered to pay $300 million to his victims.

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Clearly, money talks -- and it speaks a language I don't fully understand. They let a thief, who stole hundreds of millions of dollars from investors, drive himself to prison. What the fuck do you expect?