Speed Racer

Movie Facts:

• The guy who was stung by bees in Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh was paid $5000 for each of the 27 bee stings he received in that movie.
• Marilyn Monroe was a paint sprayer in a factory before she was discovered by someone who worked in Hollywood.
• There are some guys behind me talking about American, Swiss, and "Nacho" cheese.
• There are more than 300 special effects shots in Mystery Men.

Trailers:

• There is a trailer for Journey to the Center of the Earth starring Brendan Frasier. It looks Cheap.
• There is a trailer for a new computer animated Star Wars movie. It looks Cheap.

The Movie:

The movie immediately thrusts the viewer into an alternate universe with very intense colors.

There is a particularly imaginative daydream scene that looks hand-drawn.

Holy shit, it's live action but it's still a cartoon. I can probably say that a hundred times but it won't have any meaning to you until you actually see it for yourself.

At times the movie feels like a total abortion. It's shit like this that made the Flintstones live action movie fail -- it's just hard to combine live action with animation in a way that doesn't make the viewer want to vomit. Some scenes are sort of disgusting to watch -- this could be because the combination of animation and live action is somehow "wrong," but it could also just be John Goodman.

Early on, the movie is almost entirely visual. There is a plot, but it is hard to care.

Some of the more subtly computerized scenes are very interesting to look at. It's like being in the best theme park ever.

Wait, back to John Goodman: This guy is alive? And still acting? Ugh.

There are large chunks of the movie that are hard to follow because there's no clear chronological order. This wouldn't be a problem in itself (other movies can pull this off), but there are parts where the movie is orderly and parts where it is not, and there is no clear distinction between these parts. They are literally connected by a scene where Speed Racer is racing along on a race track. What the hell is going on?

Chim-Chim's introductory scene is fucking weird.

Again, might not have been the wisest choice to cast John Goodman after The Flintstones, but, on the other hand, his mustache is fucking raw.

Some scenes are incredibly ugly and it's like the color palettes were deliberately made to be bland. At this point I'm about ready to walk out. I can't care about the movie. To make matters worse, one of the main characters says, "Justice, that's a commodity I don't waste my money on" in very poor English. The movie cost $120 million, couldn't they have done a couple extra takes on this shot?

Halfway through, the movie isn't bad at all. This is around the time where Spritle and Chim-Chim are driving around amped up on sugars and listening to "Free Bird."

Richard Roundtree appears in this movie.

The Wachowski siblings' vision becomes clearer as the movie progresses. The movie finds its pace starting at the first cross-country race scene and stays decent up until the final scene which is as ridiculous as any final track in a Mario Kart game. If you like 'kart' racing games or are a fan of the Speed Racer cartoon (and there is probably some overlap between the two groups), you would probably like the movie overall.

Anyone who worked on the visuals for this movie should be extremely proud, even though it looks like the movie will financially fail. I think the movie will be nominated for some special effects awards.

Don't watch the movie on a shitty screen. You will not enjoy it.