Stagnation and Feelings

You know how sometimes you just don't "go out"?

How sometimes you just don't want to do anything, but for no particular/identifiable reason? You aren't sick, nothing has happened to make you want to stay home, but you just don't do anything -- because it feels like there's nothing to do.

Now, maybe the way I defined this problem doesn't exactly make sense, but hopefully you still understand what I'm getting at. I think different people define this feeling differently.

Some work through it with uppers or a general bitterness toward the night. Those who do it bitterly ruin the nights of the others who cross their paths -- those who get caught in the undercurrent of someone else's shit [storm, wave, tornado]. Those who do it with uppers probably do it well.

For those of us that don't decide to work through it, what sort of excuse do we give our companions who may have been expecting our company on the night in question?

For some of us, it is appropriate to say "I just don't feel like it." But this is not all of us. Others would be more comfortable pretending to have fallen ill in some way.

What about the people who are superstitious, and have come to associate this unidentifiable lack of moxy with a "bad omen?" If our world is truly rational, these people are a bit of a social danger to their peers because they will extend their own personal bad feelings onto their friends. They might say "I have a bad feeling about the night, so you shouldn't go out." These people will plead with their friends not to go, to stay in, and perhaps to stay with them. They are superstitious, and so they think that it is in their friends' best interests to stay in.

Me, I'm slightly superstitious in this way, but I'm not in the right category of irrational thought to believe the type of shit I just wrote about. Most of the time, anyway. With me it's usually more along the lines of a feeling of tiredness with whatever "scene" it is that I'm wrapped up in at the time. I need to recharge and spend time away so that when I go back, I'm actually able to enjoy it and feel dynamic -- so that I'm able to avoid feeling that everything is the same.

Stagnation is everywhere, and it's only in hiding from it and reintroducing ourselves to it, that it can truly keep us interested.


Post a Comment